So this is a little something that I wrote 4 years ago while going through a pretty dark time in my life. I still don’t have a title for it, if you like it, comment and give me a suggestion. Read it, like it, hate it, enjoy it.
Something inside me is screaming for help,
I just can’t go on like this any longer.
I want to run, run, run far away, to another place,
because where I am isn’t where I what I want.
I hate you, I hate me, I hate us, I hate this.
Hate is my driving force, what sustains me.
Anger is the air I breath.
Shame….coursing through my veins.
So I fill up my veins with a little happiness and it engulfs my entire body.
It feels great, I love it, but it’s so wrong, but it’s just SO good.
Peace, at last, it all makes sense, I get it, the answer is clear.
Like a lover happiness wraps her legs around my waist, clinging to my body.
Her eyes penetrate my very soul, is this love?
As she kisses me my eyes close and I dream.
Suddenly she pulls away, no longer looking at me with the same eyes.
Her beauty turns into something almost demonic.
Why is she doing this?
This isn’t right! It’s WRONG!
This isn’t love!
I hate you, I hate me, I hate us, I hate this…
Hate is what makes me who I am.
The air that sustains me is anger.
My veins, pumping shame through my body.
Give me a little happiness….
if only u really knew 