Secrets keep you sick, or at the very least that’s what far too many ‘well meaning’ therapist have told him. Sitting in those cold and sadly decorated rooms with the ‘professional’ sitting across it looking back at him with searching eyes, trying to crack the code and unlock the secrets of his sick and sad mind. Some would open up to him and tell little secrets of their own, trying helplessly to chip away at the fortress that surrounded what belongs to him. He can’t tell then, he won’t tell them, if they know they’ll hate him, throw him away like his family did. If his own blood can tell him that he no longer belongs in their life because of his secrets, why wouldn’t this stranger that hardly knows him be any different.
Each day becomes a battle, waking up to the reality of a pointless existence that should be squashed out like a putrid insect under a shoe. The secrets clinging on to him, holding on with their sticky claws that dig into his skin drawing blood, hurting him, like he deserve to be hurt. Pain becomes his close companion, nurturing the thought of death that fester in his sad existence. Then in an almost defiant way, the secrets start to out weigh everything and slowly the walls start to slowly weather and crumble, falling away allowing little bits of the secrets that define his existence to become visible to anyone who cares to look.
That’s when the unthinkable happened, someone looked. For the first time since the creation of these disgusting truths that filled his head someone else saw them and she didn’t run, she did the unthinkable, she stayed and stared right back. The scared little boy who hid between all the vile secrets slowly rose up and showed himself. He knew that it was a very bad idea but some invisible force seemed to pry him out, making him feel strong and he kept rising. She reaches out to him, opening her hand, inviting him to take the biggest risk of his pathetic little existence, and he waists no time to grab onto the first real thing that he has ever felt.
With the strength of a thousand men she pulls him free from the life he has called reality and shows him another truth, one of love and hope. He drinks her love blindly savoring each drop, spilling nothing. He needs more, sucking every last drop that he can get out of her, but he doesn’t notice that she has begun to wither away, she has become a shell, empty. Wanting more he devours her, unaware to the reality of how he is killing her. Before long she is no longer there.
As he comes out of his feeding frenzy he realizes what he has done. First the guilt comes, then the pain of the reality of what he is sinks in, and he shrinks. Quickly he climbs back into the fortress that once he called home and rebuilds the walls that for so long protected him. He looks at the devastation that he has created and locks it away, vowing never to let it out again.
In a cold, sadly decorated room he looks at the ‘professional’ staring back at him and listens as he says those all to familiar word,”secrets keep you sick”…..